I’m always thinking like a blogger. I can’t help it, it’s the way I’m “wired”. This may not be funny to ya’ll but I was cracking up…

Today at work I drank way too much Dew, too fast, so not only was I highly caffeinated & hopped up but I also had to pee sooooo badly. Apparently so did others. We only have three stalls in our bathroom (one being the handicap stall) and the 1st & last were taken. I immediately jumped into the middle stall. I’m a shoe fanatic & I also check feet on the stalls next to me. Don’t act like you don’t do it!

I knew that the ugly brown beaten orthopedic loafers had to be Stephanie, as for the other ones, they were cute flats, apparently newish and I didn’t recognize them. So I go pee, potty, tinkle, whatev you call it and I start hearing farts being ripped! I mean seriously loud ripping farts. I wasn’t sure but they seemed to be coming from both sides and echoing off the walls in thunderous noise. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. If guys only knew that not all women powder their noses all the time. Of course, even though I was laughing, I was hurrying because I’m no scientist but I didn’t want the speed of smell to catch me.

That’s my funny Friday story, and I’m stickin’ to it

1. Social Contact. Work, no matter how tedious and dreadful it can be is a way to connect with people. Sure, sometimes those people piss you off, (*coughs* KEGAN) but social connectedness is an important factor to overall health and happiness. Sometimes you can even find co-workers you enjoy. I put them in 3 catergories: A) The coworker you wouldn’t mind getting a drink with after work - afterall they’re probably funner blitzed. B) The coworker you wouldn’t mind getting a drink with after work and mayhaps invite over for a BBQ at your place. And finally C) The coworker you only put up with because you get paid by the hour & you’ve mastered “ignoring”.

2. Work Experience. When searching for a new job, work experience plays an important role in getting hired. An employer won’t be impressed when they see an applicant who hasn’t been able to stay at a job for longer than 6 months. A good rule of thumb is to stick out, at a minimum, for a year. Any less than that, and the work experience likely won’t even be considered.

3. Mind Exploration. This one only applies if you have a fairly monotonous job. Rather than just staring blankly at the screen, files, machine, or people (whatever you monotonously work with), start spinning that brain to benefit you. Make plans, think of book ideas, see how much of a movie you can recall, or do anything that allows you to stretch your brain a little. Sometimes I fantasize about how many martial arts moves can be made using a BIC pen on my greatest enemy and kicking his ass - it relieves a lot of stress and puts a smile on my face.

4. Avoid Getting Canned. This relates to the “work experience” notion. If you get canned, you can kiss that work experience goodbye. You may end up eliminating it completely from your resume, and if you do that (which supposedly isn’t encouraged) you have to come up with a way to explain the “jobless” period of time (which gets really tricky if it’s 3 or more years). If you choose to include that job on your resume, you will not only lose a good reference/recommendation, you will likely get a bad one. Going to work today isn’t just about today; it’s about that next job that’s going to be way better than this one.

5. Use it to your Advantage. If you hate your job, a good reason to go work is to use it to your advantage. I don’t care where you work, there is always a way to get some personal gain from your job. If you work at a desk or on a computer, maybe you sneak in some time to job hunt, write personal e-mails, or play games (just don’t get caught). If you work filing all day, maybe you use some of that time to sneak in some office exercises (calf raises, squats, etc). If you’re a teacher, find some ways to use your students to do work for you. No matter what position you’re in, find a way to use that time to your advantage, and you will find a reason to go to work. I find that learning new ways to torture, shock or create panic in my coworkers keeps me pretty much entertained.

6. Keep Your Benefits. If you get benefits (count yourself lucky), you definitely don’t want to lose them before you have something lined up. Sure, health insurance doesn’t seem that important right now while you’re sitting there hating your job - but if you eat a poisonous batch of generic Oreos while watching Tyra Banks, you’re going to wish you had that health insurance!

7. Think of Ways to Stick it to your Boss. You have to go to work. You just do. Not forever, though. And while you’re hanging out thinking about all the reasons NOT to go to work, you might as well go to work and use the time to think of all the ways you can stick it your boss. Maybe you’ll do it, maybe you won’t. But thinking about the ways you actually have some power and control will make you happy.

8. Ridiculous Co-Workers. Unless you work alone, you are sure to have some fairly stupid and ridiculous co-workers. (If you don’t, ummm, it might be you.) If you don’t go to work, you might miss out on something hilarious from that completely incompetent coworker (or boss). What if they start the break-room on fire and your co-worker earns the name of Fire Boy for the rest of his employment? Do you really want to miss the event that started it all?

9. Important Notices. Notice: No work on Friday. Notice: Thursday is Red Shirt Day. Notice: $100 bonus for bringing your dog to work. Whatever the notice or announcement, you do not want to miss it! It could be something incredibly important or profitable! The last thing you want when you already hate your job is to show up on jeans day wearing your 3-piece suit. Also if you don’t have one, you need one: DONUT DAY! Ours is on Friday. It makes Fridays so much better, especially when I hopped up on the Dew!

10.  It’ll Give you “Character” when you obtain World Dominance. Did you know that Charles used to work at…? It’ll make you look way cooler than if you just magically jumped to World Dominance. And we all know that World Dominance is the ultimate goal of all, I just hope it’s part-time.

Credits: Happy Lists (with minor modifications)

Can I tell you how much I love Ludo? Awwwww, of course I can. You are so nice. I do love Ludo, and this is my #1 fav song by them followed by “Good Will Hunting by Myself”

Who gets this & finds it completely hilarious???

Rosie has the mad skillz yO! She made me my awesome new header! Isn’t it tote loverly!?! I love it more than pie! Thank you my sunshine! <3!!!

see Obama pictures
I don’t really speak politics or get into real deep political discussions, but I *do* have an opinion, I *do* follow a political content blog & I *do* vote. AND now I *do* have a new LOL Blog for you to watch - Pundit Kitchen. Go ahead & LOL!

So like Hawks posted - we spent the afternoon into the evening at Jazz in the Woods for his birthday yesterday. We had a great time, though the boys did get a lil antsy up until Brody found football, and Goop found the huge fountain. Haha!

It’s funny but in Hawaii, I wasn’t as much of an outdoor person as I have become now. The boys love it and I think that heaven on earth is a picnic blanket, grass and a warm day. It’s the little things that I am so thankful for…

• Hawks - he has been the absolute best thing to happen in our lives ever.
• Happy, healthy kids that are so full of life & spirit that I smile just trying to keep up.
• Sunshine and a nice day.
• Kansas City
• Picnics
• Music
• Lightning Bugs
• Summertime in general
• Hawks’ smile
• Hawks’ uhhhh other parts - This could get dirty but ya know, it’s *that* nice!
• Yellow cars

Hmm this list could get pretty large so let’s leave it at the jist. We tried to make this the bestest month ever with the celebrations we had coming and I think we came pretty damn close. Yay us!

Ever get a severe case of the giggles? Oh my garsh! It was like I was high without the munchies. I just could not stop laughing tonight. First it was the whole picture taking with Hawks (I needed a new cell phone wallpaper). Then it was searching for damn cat pics, I was dying, even though we couldn’t find the site I was looking for (Kittens of Darkness). Talk about a giggle-fest, time killer, try googling “cat pics”, or hell, try “cat pics motivational”. At one point I could not breath I was laughing so hard as I was imagining the “Hang in There” kitty that may possibly be on Hawks’ cell wallpaper someday, but isn’t. Rofl!  Then the whole “Stop looking at me Swan” from Billy Madison came up & I couldn’t stop. In fact, I gave Aka my best Billy Madison impersonation from that scene alone… “Nooooo Shampoo is bettah”. Now that my side is killing me & my giggles have now mellowed to a lil chuckle, it’s bedtime. HAPPY HUMP DAY EVERYONE!